Hermaphrodite Heaven

Following on from my hermaphrodite sex threesome blog not so long ago wherein we met insatiably horny big tits big cock nubile newhalf newcomer Abby Armshlong with her large natural D-cup breasts and 10 inch penis poking out above her pretty pussy parts? Well, I’m pleased to announce that Futanaria has just released the sexy hermaphrodite threesome videos from this series which really got me thinking about my hermaphrodite blog and hardcore hermaphrodite porn in general…

…you see, I was wondering why Hermaphrodite Heaven was my most popular blog in terms of sign-ups, even beating My Boob Site in sheer volume of site memberships generated. Indeed, not a single dickgirl day goes by that I look at my web stats only to find that Futanaria accounts for at least half of the website subscriptions made on behalf of all of my porn blogs combined!

This, in turn, got me pondering the apparent popularity of girl with a penis porn and why guys seem so attracted to tits with a big cock hermaphrodite sex videos like the gender bending fantasy Futanari provides. It’s certainly not a gay thing, as most of the blokes I’ve spoken to about their weird sex fantasy female hermaphrodite fetish are 100% straight heterosexual males (although, in all fairness, I know a fair few bisexual girls who frequent this site as well). Besides, these aren’t tranny shemale chicks with dicks we’re talking about, these are real girls with real boobs all natural apart from the giant cocks attached to their pussies ejaculating gallons of cum when they orgasm in their extreme bukkake worthy mutual masturbation videos (since fucking a girl to orgasm with those massive cocks cumming enormous ejaculations would no doubt result in the girl’s pussy exploding (we’ve already seen one hyper-orgasmic girl blowing up a condom with her huge cumshot, so just imagine the explosive effect of so much cum inside her vagina instead!)!).

But I digress, as I’m trying to cum to genital grips (how bloody Freudian is that in a big boner bondage sort of way?) with why this girls’ penis porn is such a turn-on for straight males who wouldn’t give even the biggest cock a second genital glance if it were on an extremely well-endowed guy rather than these sexy dick-girls with gigantic genitals hanging between their legs with their big balls eclipsing their vaginas in titanic testicle flesh? Well, it’s not that they like looking at the biggest dicks or even the erotic allure of sexual mutants with both male and female genitalia to their monster cock / cunt credit but, rather, something far more simple; the always horny hyper-erotic essence being that as guys having penises ourselves, we know what it feels like to get a handjob or a blowjob or a titfuck or having our throbbing cocks massaged within the invitingly wet vaginal walls of a girl’s pussy whilst fucking her. We know the sublime ultimate sexual release of having a really good orgasm cumming on tits or face or wheresoever our semen shot should send its spermy load.

In short, we know what it feels like to cum from a penis ourselves, and so we can share an erotic empathy with girls who have cocks of their own. We can see these girls cumming buckets all over each other in an all-female giant penis girl-on-girl bukkake cum eating fest and truly relate to the profound sexual pleasure of that first surge of semen shooting jizz in sticky streams from their swollen shafts in the seemingly endless ejaculation of a sustained orgasm as the spray cum on tits and face combined (oh, our hermaphrodite heroine even gets so much cum in her mouth that she has to spit it out in a sperm-filled fountain from her semen-stained lips to avoid choking on the cumshot filling her cock-hungry mouth beyond its ejaculate capacity!). So cum with me now on an erotic journey into hermaphrodite threesome sex with added closeup pussy fisting and busty hermaphrodite in-your-face fucking in these massive penis menage et trois super sexy hermaphrodite threesome videos cumming big cock bukkake loving courtesy from Futanaria.com:

    

    

    

Back in my pussy fucking blowjob videos blog, thoughtful reader TaylorFan wondered how I viewed the sometimes funny, sometimes sensual and sometimes perverted fantasy back story setups that Futanaria provided for the hardcore hermaphrodite videos therein. To wit…

TaylorFan wrote:

One aspect of these futanari videos which I find essential, fascinating and humorous is the initial set up of the video. For instance in the sleepover videos, which you rightly called the best set so far, the premise of these two enormous cocked girls revealing themselves was excellent. I was wondering how you view these initial set up parts of the videos?

…well, TaylorFan, although I’ve not spoken about it on my hermaphrodite blog before, I must admit the psychosexual stimulus they provide in what could best be described as video erotica is a huge boner bonus which only serves to enhance the erotic mental masturbation experience of letting the imagination run wild immersed within the more visceral visual sexual stimulus embodied in the carnal context of their accompanying erotic imagery. To say that the hopelessly horny sex subtext underlying the masturbatory movies is an enormous turn-on would be an understatement of epic proportions indeed.

But the deliciously dirty fuck fantasy sexy back stories are but one of the many wonderful things I’ve “cum” to expect from Futanaria who never fail to provide for my preferences in porn perversion. I’ve also “cum” to rely upon their constant procession of beautiful hermaphrodite girls with gigantic penises as well as pussies to their genital credit, not to mention plenty of beautiful boobs as well. I’ve “cum” to love their lesbian girl-on-girl action with a testicular twist of having huge dicks and big balls covering their cunts so you have be willing to work your way past a large penis and testicles in order to penetrate pussy with your own. I’ve “cum” to grow thirsty for the girls’ massive cumshots ejaculating literally buckets of cum from the extended orgasms these well-endowed women endure. In short, suffice it just to say that I’ve cum.

Take my shemale sexual harassment in the workplace blog from a while back as a fitting erotic example of the perverted porn phenomenon a back-story provides…

…as much as I love a girl with cum on her lips, it’s the sexy setup wherein we witness the bespectacled secretary’s sex pest boss badger her relentlessly with casual frottage and unwanted touching riddled with sexual innuendo implying that sleeping with the boss would be amongst the best in sure-fire career advancement opportunities or kneeling down next to her subordinate co-worker for a chat stealthily resting a hand on her knee then stroking up her thigh until she reaches the bulge in her pants and gives it an encouraging squeeze to elicit an embarrassing erection from the enormous penis this poor girl has trapped in her trousers. The dialogue is delightful as the unwanted sexual attention from her sex-crazed boss simmers to a big boner boil until our beleaguered sexy secretary is left with no option other than to just give in to these uninvited advances and have sex with her boss if she’s ever going to find herself getting ahead in business.

However, when I’m on the blog (as it were), I tend to concentrate on sex rather than setup in selective video clips to feature in my porn previews. Perhaps I’m doing Futanaria and everyone else a disservice by not showing more of the sexy back-story and just getting on with the hardcore fucking (and handjobs and blowjobs and cumshots and such) since these, for me, are the main course meat of the matter while the story’s but a sensual side dish best served soft as an erotic appetiser until the girls begin masturbating gigantic cocks engorging to enormous erections each blowing its load in turn like a phallic jizz fountain cumming in a girl on girl bukkake style finish in these workplace sexual harassment videos from Futanaria.com:

    

    

    

Big dick-girl news, boys and girls and every possible transgender in between! Futanaria has just shot their very first hermaphrodite threesome sex series ever! It’s a marvellous menage et trois of massive cocks with big boobs to boot but, first, I’d like to take this opportunity to introduce you all to the most recent recruit to the Futanaria dickgirl team, lovely busty little blonde Abby Armshlong (she’s the one on the left below)…

…a bit vertically challenged standing at only 4′11″ and weighing in at a lithesome 105lbs, 34D busty blond Abby brings her extremely well-endowed penis measuring 10.5-inches long with a pussy stretching 8-inch girth as well as a nice pair of D-cup breasts to the Futanaria family of dickgirls (and you can never have too many short girls with big tits indeed). Here’s what the site has to say about the magnificent Ms Armshlong…

Abby Armshlong is a petite, slutty blonde with perfect natural tits and a horny girl-cock that gets her into all kinds of trouble. She’s a girl you wouldn’t want to take home to your mother because she’d probably fuck her. Her pelvic thrusts are renowned among all those that have experienced her wrath, and that list is growing by the day. Even though her stature is small, she an intimidating dom when it comes to sex. She loves getting her pussy fucked as much as fucking pussy.

…right, then. Introductions out of the way, let’s get on to what happens when you get three sexy hermaphrodites having a threesome with their giant cocks and hermaphrodite pussies in play. The series starts off with tag-team sex couple Janeen & porsha giving tiny blond busty newcomer Abby a genuine gigantic genitals welcome with a two-on-one blowjob with both girls licking her dick at once before she gets down to blowing both their big boners in turn during which a tit-loving Porsha starts fondling her beautiful breasts whilst Janeen waits her turn by jacking off Abby’s 10-inch penis plus. They nearly manage a big cock circle-jerk at this point, but greedy girl Abby sets out to prove that a cock in each hand is worth two in the bush (and, with massive cocks as big as their’s, that latter would make for some painful penis pussy penetration!). Then it’s on to super-sized cock-sucking where our extremely well-endowed girls go down on each other. Once again, they nearly manage am oral sex circle-suck (if there is such a sex slang term for three girls sucking off each other in a phallic love triangle). Moving of to two girls kissing while masturbating each other to large penis hermaphrodite pussy fucking to jacking off in her face to yet even more big cock blowjobs wherein cock-hungry dick-girl Porsha shows she can manage a double-blowjob by fitting the swollen dick-heads of two cocks in her mouth at once after liberally lubricating them in saliva with her talented tongue, the girls finish off with a bit of manual mutual masturbation over poor penis-loving cum-hungry Posha, cumming buckets of jizz on her tits and cum on her face in three girl bukkake action with colossal cumshots so huge she’s in danger of drowning in sperm in these horny hermaphrodite threesome photos from Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

Fucking pussy and giving blowjobs are two super sex acts that each stand on their own erotic merit, but wouldn’t it be great if you could combine the two into one? Of course, that would require you to have a rather sexually unique girlfriend with a cock for the sucking and a pussy for the fucking. So, moving on with the prurient penis pussy premise in mind, let’s say you did have this hypothetical hermaphrodite girlfriend willing to give the pussy fucking blowjob combo a go. How would you pull it off? Well, first off, you don’t want to pull it off, you want to suck it - while you’re fucking her pussy with your penis. Secondly, she’d have to have an unusually large cock long enough to reach your mouth whilst burying your boner balls deep inside her vagina (that, or you’d have to have a few vertebrae removed from your spine - but then you’d be flexible enough for autofellatio and wouldn’t need a pussy partner anyway, penis or no penis!). Going with the extremely long penis hypothesis for the sake of argument, here’s what I imagine the cock sucking pussy fucking sex scene would look like…

…then again, the sucky fucky photo above is based upon the rare intersexual assumption that you’re a hermaphrodite as well (in which case you could just go fuck yourself so, much like the vertebrae removal autofellatio option postulated above, this whole sexual exercise becomes a moot point). But let’s let the suspension of disbelief over sexual self-satisfaction of self-pleasuring take hold for a moment to allow for the erotic enjoyment of a hermaphrodite movie providing a sexually explicit graphic depiction of said simultaneous pussy fucking blowjob courtesy of two hermaphrodites fucking and sucking each other off in these hardcore hermaphrodite sex videos that cum with loving courtesy of Futanaria.com:

    

    

    

Today, co-workers in girl cock carnage, we shall be addressing the serious issue of sexual harassment in the workplace. I, myself, have sadly suffered such indignity at the perpetually horny hands of my evil boss when she makes sexual comments aimed at me laced with suggestive innuendo such as “Yay, I can see your penis!” should I be masturbating at work or, looking up from her desk with pen perched upon her parted lips like a penis in need of a blowjob and sexily saying, “Fancy a fuck?” Fortunately, casual sex with co-workers is permitted in my workplace so there’s no risk of being fired should I take her up on her suggestive office sex suggestion.

However, not all office workers are so keen on fucking the boss as I am, so it’s critically important that we send a stern message that sexual abuse in the workplace should not be tolerated since not so innocent innuendo can cum to a head and result in a rather sticky situation such as this…

…pretty scary, huh? Suffering sexual harassment from your boss can indeed become a pretty messy situation as illustrated in the covert office surveillance photo above wherein this poor sticky dick girl’s sexually aggressive female boss with a formidable phallus of her own intent on masturbating her minions into sexual submission forces her hapless subordinate co-worker to cum all over herself from a hard cock jacking handjob!

So, in order to avoid sexual harassment in the office escalating to full-blown extreme sexual abuse in the office, I feel it’s important that we examine the erotic events which led up to this most serious breach of office etiquette. The scene starts out with extremely well-endowed naturally busty big cock boss Shannon Shaftin sporting an enormous erection in her pantyhose happens upon likewise cock-equipped female co-worker Felicia Femwood enjoying a brief work break with a cup of coffee laced with Viagra (or so it would seem judging by the big boner bulge in her trousers tenting high as they are under the strain of her massive penis pressure). Using said penis bulge pants for support, busty shemale boss Shannon gets down on her knees to release the monster cock from its clothing confines, unzipping her zipper and pulling her penis free for a sloppy blowjob before licking her tits and touching tongues with her big boner buddy.

Her co-worker’s erection exposed for all the office to see, Shannon counters with cleavage by offering a brief in the bra titfuck before stripping topless to touch Felicia’s big dick-head to the nipples of her lovely large breasts. The sexy set of shemale big boobs proves too much for the now sexually aroused Felicia, as the erotic allure of Shannon’s sexy areola and nipple covered in pre-cum seems ripe for some tit sucking action. Only then does Felicia take matters into her own mouth for autofellatio as her cum-hungry sex-crazed superior frames the sensual self-sucking scene by squeezing her big boobs together in the background, once again presenting the temptation of tits to which the molested minion takes as an invitation to a busty big cock titfuck in these erotic office sex photos from Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

Apologies for inaccurately paraphrasing American Pie wherein the teenage sex films’ hapless horny hero is informed that fucking a girl’s pussy feels like warm apple pie around your penis, but it seemed most appropriate since the ever lovely and extremely well-endowed dickgirls Janeen Junkstuffer & Caitlyn Cumgusher from Futanaria just so happen to be quite literally fucking a warm apple pie in phallic food fetish photos and videos (and so, I suppose it’s not so much like fucking an apple pie as it is simply fucking an apple pie (gosh, I wonder how many times I can mention fucking apple pie in this blog?))!

And this isn’t the first time the fucking food fetish has graced the pages of my porn blogs as, indeed, we’ve seen a girl fucking a cucumber (not to mention carrots and a squash amongst her vast array of vaginal vegetables), a busty teen delightfully decorating her big tits with doughnuts as a delectable dairy dessert for big breast lovers (’til she gets hungry and eats them herself, that is), the dark and disturbing world of fat feeding feeder porn and, just today over on my big boobs transsexuals blog, a busty shemale with beautiful big melons of her own fucking a watermelon with her fruit loving she-cock!

So I guess two gorgeous girls with unusually large penises fucking an apple pie then sucking off the sticky filling from each other’s colossal cocks before employing the crumbly compote as a mutual masturbation lubrication media for a messy double handjob and ultimately erupting in enormous ejaculations cumming in the crust thereby glazing it with the jizz from their genitals is not unusual in the least (although the apple pie autofellatio employing the penis as an eating utensil is admittedly rather unique) in these large apple penis pie fucking (no, wait - I fucked that up - lemme try again) large penis apple pie fucking photos and videos which cum courtesy of Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

    

    

    

Remember the sexy hermaphrodite secret sex sleep-over photos from my tongue-in-cheek benefits of having a girlfriend with a penis blog?

Well, Futanaria have just released the hopelessly horny hermaphrodite videos shot simultaneously with this sensual series and, having just viewed all 25 minutes of this masturbation inducing erotic epic, I’ve arrived at the considered conclusion that this may well be their sexiest and hottest hermaphrodite on hermaphrodite video yet!

This magnificent hermaphrodite movie masterpiece is based upon the prurient premise that extremely well-endowed dickgirl Bianca Bonesworth has set up a girls’ sleepover in hopes of revealing that she’s a secret hermaphrodite to her girlfriend Porsha Peckerhard, but little does Bianca know that Porsha has a similar sexy secret to reveal herself. Frankly, though, it’s hard to imagine the girls not knowing, considering how their giant cocks are pitching tents in their pyjamas of circus tent big-top proportions held up by each girl’s huge hard-on! But, for now, let’s, like the girls, ignore the blatantly obvious trouser tenting and allow suspension of disbelief to take hold so we can examine the sexy story line.

After some innocent pillow talk from their separate beds (actually, Porsha has but an uncomfortable sleeping bag on the floor), they decide to join each other in Bianca’s bed for the grand genital revelation and, on the count of three, both girls lift their shirts to reveal the enormous erections they’d been not so secretly concealing therein. After politely asking permission, the girls beging feeling and fondling each other’s penises until Porsha, making jerking off motions with her hand clasped over her own cock, asks Bianca if she masturbates herself. Upon receiving a response in the affirmative, Porsha gets brave and lends a helping hand masturbating Bianca’s big dick with a two-handed handjob (after all, her gigantic penis is too big to wank with one hand!).

Then, it’s on with the big cock blowjobs as Porsha takes Bianca’s massive penis in her mouth and starts sucking off her dick head whilst the latter writhes below in oral sex pleasure only stopping for a mere masturbatory moment to ask her clever cock-sucker where she learned to do that. As the first cumshot of this multi-orgasmic movie inevitably approaches, Porsha switches back to her huge cock handjob and, holding her hand over Bianca’s mouth to stifle her orgasmic screams from waking their prudish roommate, an enormous ejaculation ensues soaking the bed and both girls in semen (despite Porsha’s valiant efforts to stem the flow of the giant sperm fountain by using the palm her hand over the ejaculating penis as an ineffectual manner of manual cumshot stop-cock!)!

After the cum-soaked girls have recovered from Bianca’s penis exploding ejaculation with a French kiss touching tongues, it’s Porsha’s turn to engage in some sexual experimentation of her own. After asking her well-endowed girlfriend if she’s ever stuck her cock in anything (she hadn’t), Porsha offers her hermaphrodite pussy for penis penetration by Bianca’s big boner (which has remained surprisingly erect after said cock cumming buckets of jizz). Fearful that she’ll tear her girlfriend’s vagina apart with her massive penis parts, Bianca reluctantly agrees and starts fucking her cunt doggy-style whilst slapping her ass as if riding a hung like a horse hermaphrodite sex stallion.

Switching sexual positions so that fuckee Porsha’s on her back with hermaphrodite fucker Bianca’s big penis is still firmly planted inside Porsha’s virgin vagina, the sheer fuck force of pussy fucking alone proves enough to get well-fucked Porsha’s impressive cock to explode in an orgasm of her own as she encourages ejaculation with a horny handjob gushing cum upwards as sticky semen dribbles down her digits. Finding this colossal cumshot scene to hot to resist, Bianca dives in with both hands holding the huge ejaculating erection spewing it’s spermy stew two-fisted along with Porsha’s wanking hand for a three-handed handjob orgasm before leaning in and licking semen from her spent penis tip.

Ah, but that not the end - not by a long cumshot - as our cum-covered post-orgasmic girls just carry on jacking each other off in a two cock double handjob to completion with simultaneous orgasms until they’re interrupted by their roommate wondering what sort of salacious shenanigans and going in in the suspiciously locked bedroom. Our hermaphrodite mutual masturbation mates reply that they were in bed telling ghost stories before falling asleep (right, the story of Ghastly Giant Ghost Genitals and the Phantom Penis perhaps?) whilst massaging cum into each other’s legs (erm, they don’t tell that bit). When they awaken the next morning, their pyjamas still caked in cum from the night before, the girls start kissing, cuddling and massaging each other’s breasts and penises as an erotically tactile thank you for the super sex they’d shared together.

And that’s about the cock size of it, really, albeit only the best bits (in my humble opinion) from this marvellous hermaphrodite mutual masturbation movie (oh, wait, there’s hermaphrodite fucking involved, too) starring darling dickgirls Porsha Peckerhard & Bianca Bonesworth sharing a girls’ night in in their Secret Sex Sleepover video from Futanaria.com:

    

    

    

I’d registered the Hermaphrodite Heaven domain name years before finding the Futanaria hermaphrodite fantasy site. My original intent was to create a genuine hermaphrodite blog but, apart from exceedingly ultra-rare porn sites like Hermaphrodite Sex, real hermaphrodites were hard to come by. And so, I turned to fake hermaphrodites with big tits and huge cocks to indulge in my intersexed sex fantasy of having the best of both worlds with the erotic triptych of having big breasts and a penis and a vagina all wrapped up in one convenient well-endowed package.

In all of my vain searches for real hermaphrodites in porn rather than busty shemales sites are trying to pass off as intersex individuals, I have only found one genuine multi-genital article: IceGirl4u from ImLive. Sporting both male and female genitalia upon her most unique body, you’d never suspect at first glance that this gorgeous girl was a hermaphrodite. With her clothes on, she looks like any other beautiful girl (and only you would know the incomparably penetrable pleasure of having a sexy girlfriend with a penis and a pussy to play with). Get her naked with a view toward full-frontal nudity and she looks like a busty blonde shemale. However, lift her respectably large penis and tiny testicles out of the way to reveal her vagina with it’s pert labia lips poised and awaiting penetration and suspiciously missing clit (one can only assume she developed a penis instead of a clitoris as her primary sex organ of sexual pleasure at birth (besides, I’ve always preferred to think of transsexuals as having giant clits instead of cocks anyway)), and there can be no doubt that she is indeed the rarest of the rare, a true hermaphrodite human - and a damn sexy one at that!

I only wish that IceGirl4u did hardcore hermaphrodite porn videos and photos rather than just performing on webcam for her fans, but the live videochat format of the site does allow you to get up close and personal with this incredible individual of indeterminate gender through the wonder of private cam chat. Imagine being able to ask a real hermaphrodite how having both male and female genitals feels, and then getting her to demonstrate her genitalia by jacking off her cock and fingering her pussy at the same time (hmmm, I wonder if she can fuck herself? (nah, I suspect her penis is too big for self-fucking auto-coitus))! And so, getting a real hermaphrodite on the blog for a change, I present the super sexy IceGirl4u with her big boobs, cock and pussy nude for our viewing pleasure in these sensual photo vidcaps and a video clip from her live hermaphrodite webcam sessions at ImLive.com:

        

        

        

        

        

    

Remember Janeen Junkstuffer & Stefani Spurtsawad from Futanaria, our incredibly well hung pair of super busty hermaphrodites with unfeasibly large breasts and giant penises playing with each other’s tits and cocks before availing their colossal cleavage to a copious cumshot in the biggest titfuck between the largest breasts the world had ever seen?

Well, today’s post is meant as an addendum to that particular busty hermaphrodite blog as our giant penis pair of well-endowed dickgirls have just released the massive mammary masturbation movie shot to complement this sexy series, proving once and for all that girls with big tits need big cocks for a proper titwank (after all, a small penis would just get lost in the orgy of breast flesh ripe for the fucking!)! Sure, there’s big boobs blowjobs all around in this one, too - but, since it’s not every day we get to see such enormous breasts masturbating a massive cock, I thought I’d “breast” concentrate on the tit-fucking bits in the video clips I’ve prepared for today’s colossal chest humping phallic feature film.

And, not only does our gigantic tit-fuck result in one of the biggest cumshots ever to grace such gorgeous gargantuan globes, but the sheer intensity of the boob-induced orgasm starts our big boobed beauty’s huge tits lactating breast milk squirting all over the place! But the action doesn’t stop with a cock in cleavage cumshot conclusion. On the contrary, never being one to waste a big load of cum on tits, seeing the giant jizz-covered juggs glistening in sperm simply inspires our titanic tit-fucker to bury her own massive penis in her fuckee’s freshly cummed cleavage canal for a reciprocal titfuck of her very own (further resulting in this being the first sloppy seconds titfuck video I’ve ever seen as well!)! So let us join Janeen Junkstuffer & Stefani Spurtsawad getting it on booby style in these splendid big cock cumshot busty titfuck lactation videos from Futanaria.com:

    

    

    

Sincerest apologies to The Kinks but, whenever I heard their hit song Come Dancing on the radio, my perverted mind always thought it was Cum Dancing they were singing about. Even the lyrics were a bit different from the innocent sexual innuendo of the original: “All her boyfriends used to cum and call,” “he’d end up blowing off his penis for a week” and “all for a cuddle and a pecker on the cheek” being but a few examples that the erotic implications of real cum dancing brought to bear.

This was just one of many sexual myths and masturbation misconceptions from my formative years. Eccentric Uncle Cyril, to cite another, was never caught dragging his dick through the gravy or waving his penis at passers-by. One phallic fallacy I took quite literally was with regard to the health benefits of cum (as it seemed a waste to catch my cumshot in a tissue and simply discard it after a successful masturbation session, not to mention the Bible’s admonition not to spill your seed on the ground and all).

And my uses for cum after wanking we manifold: Forget the semen dribbling cum sharing “hair gel” incident in There’s Something About Mary (although I’m sure that the high protein content in cum would provide seminal nourishment to one’s hair follicles), my own applications for the issue of orgasm were more selfish in nature in an effort to boost masculinity. Having learned that there were high levels of the hormone testosterone in semen from our sexual health studies in school and knowing that this was the primary agent triggering the development of masculine characteristics such as body hair growth and the deepening of the voice (not to mention the malady of male pattern baldness which runs in the genes of my family but, despite its hereditary nature, is a condition I’ve fortunately escaped), I reasoned that by swallowing my cum after autofellatio self-sucking blowjobs, my voice would get deeper (it did to contrabasso proportions) and rubbing cum on my face after jacking off would help in my efforts to grow a beard (the facial follicle efficacy and beardiness quotient of which you’ll just have to judge for yourselves).

But enough about the commodity cumshot consumption and jizz spreading behaviour of my youth (as I have other places to deposit my cumshots these days and generally ejaculate in the hands or mouth or tits of another (the latter especially so, being mammary gland impaired myself)), let’s meander back to the titular topic of cum dancing as it should be. For this, we’ll need to call upon non-stop erotic dancing dickgirl duo of Caitlyn Cumgusher & Janeen Junkstuffer from Futanaria with both beautiful big boner babes being equally well-endowed with a foot long penis each with an 8 inch girth who, as luck would have it, have a sort of big cock conga line erection rave thing going on with their girthy girl dicks dangling in time to the rhythm of the music!

However, between nuzzling her breasts while stroking her cock and getting down on her hands and knees for a large penis licking taste of Caitlyn’s turgid todger, it’s not long before jackoff queen Janeen gets the horn and suddenly stops dancing for an extended masturbation break jacking off her huge cock whilst Caitlyn carries on with an erotic lap dance dry humping her leg with her hard-on in hopes of encouraging her enormous erection to ejaculation - and ejaculate she does in epic proportions with her huge cock gushing cum up her dirty dancer’s ass (thus lending carnal credence and a touch of truth to the myth that you can get a girl pregnant from dancing with her (although I suppose a nude lapdance with a naked pussy in cum shot proximity to an ejaculating penis does have its inherent dangers)).

After she’s done cumming (which seems to take forever), it’s cock-laden Caitlyn who drops to her knees in the slippery jizz pool of cum on the dance floor (I’m sure Health & Safety would have something to say about this) and starts rubbing her penis in the sticky sperm bath below before grabbing up huge handfuls of cum with which to glaze Janeen’s giant genitals ’til they glisten with orgasmic girl goo. Then, it’s right back to “get down, get down, show your dickie around” (as we used to sing in school, budding perverts that we were albeit blissfully unaware of the human reproductive system and female genital anatomy as exemplified in the quasi-humorous yet sexually misguided schoolyard joke exchange, “What did you have for breakfast?” “Rubber balls and liquor.” “What did you have for lunch?” “Rubber balls and liquor.” “What did you do with your girlfriend last night?” “Rub her balls and lick her.” (blimey! if we’d accidentally cum across a chicks with dicks porn site like Futanaria back then, we’d have been fucked up big time in our sexual development thinking that girls have a penis between their legs, let alone a substantially bigger penis than our own) as our delightfully long dong dancing dickgirls carry on with their big dick boogie time with their glistening genitals covered in cum bobbing boneriffically at the video camera.

My prolific prose in praise of dancing penises and the gorgeous giant genital girls who wield their wanton wonders of nature now exhausted from excessive ejaculation - well, verbally if not genitally - I’d best be cumming to a close and wrap up our big dick disco leaving large penis lovelies Janeen Junkstuffer & Caitlyn Cumgusher to dance and cum another day as we enjoy these dance floor ejaculation videos from Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

    

    

    

Ever since I exposed myself to the fantasy hermaphrodite fetish world of Futanaria and all of the delicious dickgirls therein, I’ve come to realise that it would be a devastating sexual disappointment if I got a new girlfriend and, in due course (as intercourse goes), finally got her naked in bed only to discover to my dismay that she didn’t have a penis! Sure, I like pussy as much as the next guy, but have since become somewhat jaded against female genitalia without a huge cock & balls hanging down to eclipse the clitoris and labia. That said, I like big tits too, so the inconceivable idea of having a boobless girlfriend would be “udderly” unbearable. Likewise, the thought of trying to lead a healthy sex life without vaginas within which to poke my penis causes impenetrable psychosexual peril as well, thus striking busty shemales having both big boobs & big cocks off my list as acceptable “girlfriend material”.

And so, with the formerly gigantic genital gene pool of potential girlfriends to satisfy my strange sexual desires rapidly dwindling down to nearly nought, I can but come to a singular sensible conclusion: Hermaphrodites are the only answer! Indeed, having a sexy hermaphrodite girlfriend would be the best of all possible worlds - tits, cock & pussy in one convenient package…

…however, before I jump to conclusions that having a hermaphrodite dream girl to call my very own would be all of my bizarre sexual fantasies “cum” true in a bucket, I decided it might be sensible to compile a top ten list of pros & cons as to what having a busty girlfriend with a penis would be like:

Having a Hermaphrodite Girlfriend with a Penis and a Pussy - The Pros:

1. She’ll actually appreciate you leaving the toilet seat up after a pee.
2. She won’t mind you jacking off all the time because she does it so much herself.
3. Handjobs are better since she knows how to handle a cock and what feels best.
4. She’ll give you more blowjobs more often since she knows how good it feels.
5. You’ll have a nice, hard handle to hold onto whilst fucking her doggy-style.
6. You need only squeeze her cock to get her in the mood for sex.
7. You’ll know your way around her genitals instinctively rather than being vexed by that perplexing Rubik’s Cunt pussy puzzle most girls have between their legs.
8. You’ll be able to give her a squirting orgasm every time!
9. She’ll just roll over and fall asleep after cumming rather than wanting a cuddle.
10. You can stage a legal cock fight without inciting animal rights activists.

Having a Hermaphrodite Girlfriend with a Penis and a Pussy - The Cons:

1. Your friends will point and laugh at your girlfriend’s big boner bulge whenever she suffers an embarrassing spontaneous erection.
2. Mutual masturbation will result in an even bigger sticky mess than before.
3. When she gives you a blowjob, she’ll expect reciprocal blowjobs in return (and, if your girlfriend is a swallower, you’d best swallow her cum as well if you want to have any chance in hell of getting a cum swallowing blowjob from her ever again).
4. Neither of you will be able to talk during 69-position oral sex.
5. You might well end up accidentally teabagging her testicles during cunnilingus.
6. You’ll have to lift her balls out of the way before fucking her pussy.
7. When she’s spooning you in bed, you’ll know what that “broomstick in the back” complaint is all about.
8. She might get horny at night and fuck you up the ass in your sleep.
9. She’ll just roll over and fall asleep after cumming rather than wanting a cuddle.
10. Does she have a bigger cock than you? Two words: Penis Envy!

Pretty balanced in terms of the benefits and detriments, it seems, so perhaps some erotic visual aids would help in the decision making process. In order to illustrate the broad range of sexual possibilities that having a hermaphrodite for a girlfriend might hold, I’ll call upon darling dickgirls Porsha Peckerhard & Bianca Bonesworth from Futanaria to skillfully demonstrate such succulent hermaphrodite sex fetishes as large penis mutual masturbation with horny handjobs all around, assisted autofellatio with someone to cup your balls and push your head down to help get your cock in your mouth, big dick licking hard sucking monster cock blowjobs both solo and in the 69-position and explosive cumshots wherein one’s wanking buddy kindly holds her hand over your mouth to suppress your orgasmic screams of ecstasy at the enormous ejaculation emanating from your colossal cumming cock and then licking your dickhead clean of cum and leaning in for a deep French kiss that tastes suspiciously of your own semen as expertly exemplified in the explanatory erotica of these two hermaphrodites masturbating each other before busty blonde Bianca shoves her massive penis into little Porsha’s tight pussy and literally commences fucking the cum out of her cock in sexy hermaphrodite photos from their dirty Secret Sex Sleepover series from Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

What is the sound of one cock cumming? Indeed, this deeply philosophical question has plagued man for centuries with its Zen-like cumshot conundrum. Well, at long last, the solution to this vexing riddle has been answered with what may well be the biggest cumshot in the world cumming courtesy of the gigantic genitalia autofellatio orgasm from these record breaking 15 inch long penis self-sucking videos starring extremely well-endowed dickgirl darling Dara Danglemor from Futanaria sucking cock with a pierced tongue blowjob in her large penis princess series! Finally we get to hear the aural erotica of the sound of a gigantic cock squirting cum in her mouth as she self-sucks and jacks off her massive penis pumping away as her excessive ejaculation of sticky semen cascades along the phallic length of swollen shaft like some cum gushing waterfall of spunky spermy goodness dribbling down her gentle genital wanking hand. So pump up the volume and cum with us on this ejaculating journey of both aural sex & oral sex as our monster cock princess (hmmm, leaves one to wonder if a size queen would outrank her?) begins masturbating in bed by self-sucking her giant donkey dick cumming buckets of semen that would have the Biggest Cumshot World’s Record holding Olympic Bukkake Team flush with extreme ejaculation envy (as our delicious Dara Danglemor herself is a one-woman bukkake team indeed) in these cum eating autofellatio videos from Futanaria.com:

    

    

It takes more than big tits to turn me on. Sure, a sexy girl with a penis rarely fails to elicit an erection in my nether regions of naughtiness - said genital engorgement an instinctive reaction to extreme or bizarre sexual mutation in super busty shemales or well-endowed hermaphrodites whether her monster genitals be all natural or surgically enhanced in nature - but, truly, barring some “udderly” gorgeous girl with unbelievably huge tits and an unfeasibly large cock cumming my way, I’m quite a bit more than perfectly content to stick with what I’ve got at home, thank you very much (although my lovely wife really doesn’t get her cock out nearly enough to provoke penis envy in my poorly closeted cock-loving cum-hungry consciousness).

So how about two extremely busty girls with abnormally large genitalia and massive breasts tit-fucking and jacking each other off to get their giant cocks cumming all over their beautiful bodies in sexual mutant mutual masturbation all-girl bukkake action of epic proportions (or should that be all-girl bukakke action? I really don’t know)? Well, that’s got my erectile attention down to a tee (or should that be “up to a tee”?)…

…the two greedy cum-covered bukkake girls in question are big dick-laden maidens of massive mammaries Janeen JunkStuffer and Stefani Spurtsawad from Futanaria (where else?), and the fact that we get treated to a teasing glipmse of Stefani’s pretty hermaphrodite pussy peeking out of her panties in a tiny thong camel-toe of cunt flesh whilst she’s attempting to fuck Janeen’s tender twat doggy-style as we gaze with glorious well-endowed wonder at the curvaceous cusp of her colossal cleavage topless with gigantic breasts exposed in full-frontal nudity (tits or pussy? tits or pussy? I don’t know where to look!) is a big bonus in having an inviting vagina within which to plant the rapidly growing boner in my jeans!

However, it’s when their enormous erections start ejaculating all over each other’s gigantic juggs until their glistening with the super sperm stew of two copious cumshots contributed by both busty babes courtesy of their colossal cocks cumming in mutual mammary masturbation titanic titfuck photos that sends me over the edge into the massive breast sex big tits & cock erotic ecstasy of orgasm cumming courtesy of Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

I’ve watched girls peeing countless times in my life and even peed between their legs whilst they we relieving themselves when I had to take a piss really bad. I’ve watched my wife pissing in a urinal standing up once, too - a rather unique experience which simply bolstered the belief of the blokes with their cocks out pissing beside her that she really does have penis! On the other hand, despite the swinging lifestyle that I enjoy from time to time, I’ve never been into watersports of any description as the erotic allure of watching girls pissing has passed me by completely. However, after seeing these two most gorgeous girls with their giant cocks out pissing together, I cannot help but wonder how it would feel to hold their magnificent massive penises for them as these well-endowed women pee together (why, I’d even shake them off afterwards (ah, but only two shakes per penis, as the piss fairy tells me) or, alternately, lick their dick heads clean of pee should they so desire me to do so!). After all, with beautiful cocks as big as these…

…who wouldn’t want to feel the strong surge of urine coursing through through their huge cocks as the yellow pee stream came gushing out of their powerful penises like a phallic fountain of piss? Forget writing your name in pee on the ground (does that count as a watersport of sorts?), with the sheer volume of urine these two emit, you could compose a whole piss epistle! The powerful penis pee girls in question are none other than Shannon Shaftin & Felicia Femwood from Futanaria and, in the first of the pissing videos below (okay, so it’s the only pissing video clip below), our public urination fetish duo commit the cardinal sin of crossing their pee streams! Have they not seen Ghostbusters? I’m half-expecting these two girls’ piss streams crossing to create a temporal anomaly in the fabric of the space-time continuum opening up a penetrable vortex of darkness filled with penises (which, of course, begs the question of which would be more comfortable to lay on, a bed of big boobs or a large penis massage table?)!

But enough about dick girls pissing (although you must admit mutual urination was a unique topic not previously visited here before) and on to the far more interesting subject of dick girls cumming together in mutual orgasm from interpersonal penis play (or perhaps mutual masturbation would be a less obscure way to put that, although I’ve already used the word “mutual” three times in this sentence (no, wait, that makes four))! Anyway, after they’re relieved themselves in the great outdoors, our penis-equipped pair of pretties venture inside for a bit of big cock worship with Felicia liberating lovely Shannon’s comparatively little penis from her sexy shorts for a head sucking dick licking blowjob whilst our oral sex recipient busies herself squeezing her big boobs and licking her nipples for added sexual stimulation before laying on her back and compressing her soft tit cleavage for a dick slapping titfuck (yes, although Shannon may have the smallest penis on the site, she’s also got the biggest tits (provided we’re talking about large natural breasts, that is, as there are plenty of gigantic boobs and titanic tits of the artificially enhanced variety there as well)).

As the titfucking goes on (and on and on), we witness the first signs of approaching orgasm as glistening rivulets of precum trickle through the cusp of Shannon’s colossal dick fucking cleavage creating the first seminal impressions of a pearl necklace yet to cum whilst Felicia’s nuts-deep 9-inch penis remains totally eclipsed by jiggling breast flesh as she thrusts her huge cock repeatedly into the carnal canal of her titfuck buddy’s tightly squeezed tits as her big balls drag up the voluptuous vixen’s solar plexus. But cumming is not quite on the cards just yet as these two dirty dick girls are hell bent on postponing ejaculation until they can cum together in mutual simultaneous orgasms of immense intensity (and, indeed, wasn’t it the Beatles who wrote, “Cum together, right now, over me?”).

Our delightful dickgirl duo cease their cleavage copulation and instead settle back down onto the couch for some large penis mutual masturbation wherein they commence energetically jacking off each other’s cocks with horny hermaphrodite handjobs until both girls are cumming all over each other, each adding their free hand to their own phallus for two tight two-fisted handjobs at once, turning what was already a pair of copious cumshots into even more enormous ejaculations of epic proportions. Then, still not satisfied that they’ve got their gorgeous genitals covered in cum quite enough, Felicia & Shannon both buck up on their hind legs and - kneeling facing each other with big dicks in hand as if ready for a duelling cock fight - carry on jacking off in prolonged mutual orgasm onto each other’s decidedly less swollen testicles from all of the squirting semen shot from their sperm sticky shafts already!

At length, the two extremely heavy cummers press their colossal cumming cocks together in classic cock-docking fashion whilst phallic female Felicia & busty shemale Shannon take turns lending two helping hands to the huge cock combo for double handjobs all around before getting off their knees and settling back down for a cum soaked cuddle and kiss as semen spent cock congratulations for a two cock double handjob well done to conclude these sexy hermaphrodite masturbation to cumshot photos and big dick girls pissing videos from Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

    

    

    

It wasn’t all too long ago that I did a dickgirl blog in ebullient praise of the glorious genital phenomenon of big boner bulges in tight jeans but, sadly, had no huge cock videos to accompany the large penis pics therein…

…for me, seeing an obvious erection straining against a tight pair of trousers is as bad as seeing girls with big tits in tight tops in terms of their sheer and immense gravitational pull on my eyesight. It’s embarrassing, really, when you’re unable to tear your gaze away from the gigantic genitalia beckoning your attention from beneath their cramped, clothed confines. You just want to reach down, unzip their fly and release heavy handfuls of magnificent erectile flesh of massive penis perfection from its panty prison into the wild whilst exclaiming, “Fly! Be free!” [Okay, so maybe that's just me.]

The worst case of giant genital liberation lust I had to face was at a Halloween party at a pub some years back. There was this guy sitting next to me in a corner booth, having latched onto me earlier in the evening because he was a fan of my music. We’d been chatting about exotic synthesizers and such when I glanced down to notice a growing boner bulge in his tight white jeans (the last time I’d got a raging hard-on from a synth was seeing Kate Bush with her Fairlight CMI IIx on the cover of Keyboard Magazine). That was it for me; his huge cock having successfully usurped every last ounce of my concentration in our polite conversation in an instant.

Big cock slut that I am, I just couldn’t help myself from that point forward. I took a risk an surreptitiously slid one hand onto his knee, at length casually stroking his thigh upward as he spoke until my hand hit the barrier of his bulging dick head. I came to a dead stop, not knowing whether this guy was bisexual or not (thus the risk, especially in such a public place), until I felt his penis pulsing against my digits of big dick desire as if urging me onward in my quest for giant genitals to fondle. I stroked two furtive finger around the ridge of his phallic flange before grasping his swollen shaft between my thumb and forefinger to massage my way up the rapidly expanding length of his throbbing cock growing ever more erect to my attentive touch.

I grabbed his giant genitals full-on, giving his enormous erection a firm squeeze until I saw the telltale signs of a precum stain seeping through his jeans. Honestly, had we not been in public place I would have released his monster cock from its clothed confines, pulled down his pants to his ankles and, diving down beneath the table, gone down on him giving that gorgeous giant penis the big dick blowjob to completion it so richly deserved. Yes, I wanted to make him cum - to feel his colossal cock explode in orgasm and suck his copious cumshot down my throat like a hot jizz & tonic - but, alas, such was not to be. Big boner bloke instead leaned over for a deep snog whilst moving my hand from his crotch out of respect for the polite company surrounding us despite our being sequestered in a dark corner as we were. And, sadly, I’ve never seen him again. :~(

But enough of my unrequited lust for large cocks in tight jeans as it’s far more interesting to see two hermaphrodites with huge boners bulging in their pants kindly relieving each other of their erotic enormous erections with some horny handjobs and blowjobs as well as a bit of large penis hermaphrodite sex to take the edge off their swollen testicles before their big balls burst like two overfilled jizz balloons of ejaculate exploding cum-bustably between their legs, the well-endowed dickgirls in question with colossal cum cannons erect and at the ready being Stefani Stackwell & Caitlyn Cumgusher in dry humping hermaphrodite masturbation videos from Futanaria.com: