Hermaphrodite Heaven

Remember Janeen Junkstuffer & Stefani Spurtsawad from Futanaria, our incredibly well hung pair of super busty hermaphrodites with unfeasibly large breasts and giant penises playing with each other’s tits and cocks before availing their colossal cleavage to a copious cumshot in the biggest titfuck between the largest breasts the world had ever seen?

Well, today’s post is meant as an addendum to that particular busty hermaphrodite blog as our giant penis pair of well-endowed dickgirls have just released the massive mammary masturbation movie shot to complement this sexy series, proving once and for all that girls with big tits need big cocks for a proper titwank (after all, a small penis would just get lost in the orgy of breast flesh ripe for the fucking!)! Sure, there’s big boobs blowjobs all around in this one, too - but, since it’s not every day we get to see such enormous breasts masturbating a massive cock, I thought I’d “breast” concentrate on the tit-fucking bits in the video clips I’ve prepared for today’s colossal chest humping phallic feature film.

And, not only does our gigantic tit-fuck result in one of the biggest cumshots ever to grace such gorgeous gargantuan globes, but the sheer intensity of the boob-induced orgasm starts our big boobed beauty’s huge tits lactating breast milk squirting all over the place! But the action doesn’t stop with a cock in cleavage cumshot conclusion. On the contrary, never being one to waste a big load of cum on tits, seeing the giant jizz-covered juggs glistening in sperm simply inspires our titanic tit-fucker to bury her own massive penis in her fuckee’s freshly cummed cleavage canal for a reciprocal titfuck of her very own (further resulting in this being the first sloppy seconds titfuck video I’ve ever seen as well!)! So let us join Janeen Junkstuffer & Stefani Spurtsawad getting it on booby style in these splendid big cock cumshot busty titfuck lactation videos from Futanaria.com:

    

    

    

Sincerest apologies to The Kinks but, whenever I heard their hit song Come Dancing on the radio, my perverted mind always thought it was Cum Dancing they were singing about. Even the lyrics were a bit different from the innocent sexual innuendo of the original: “All her boyfriends used to cum and call,” “he’d end up blowing off his penis for a week” and “all for a cuddle and a pecker on the cheek” being but a few examples that the erotic implications of real cum dancing brought to bear.

This was just one of many sexual myths and masturbation misconceptions from my formative years. Eccentric Uncle Cyril, to cite another, was never caught dragging his dick through the gravy or waving his penis at passers-by. One phallic fallacy I took quite literally was with regard to the health benefits of cum (as it seemed a waste to catch my cumshot in a tissue and simply discard it after a successful masturbation session, not to mention the Bible’s admonition not to spill your seed on the ground and all).

And my uses for cum after wanking we manifold: Forget the semen dribbling cum sharing “hair gel” incident in There’s Something About Mary (although I’m sure that the high protein content in cum would provide seminal nourishment to one’s hair follicles), my own applications for the issue of orgasm were more selfish in nature in an effort to boost masculinity. Having learned that there were high levels of the hormone testosterone in semen from our sexual health studies in school and knowing that this was the primary agent triggering the development of masculine characteristics such as body hair growth and the deepening of the voice (not to mention the malady of male pattern baldness which runs in the genes of my family but, despite its hereditary nature, is a condition I’ve fortunately escaped), I reasoned that by swallowing my cum after autofellatio self-sucking blowjobs, my voice would get deeper (it did to contrabasso proportions) and rubbing cum on my face after jacking off would help in my efforts to grow a beard (the facial follicle efficacy and beardiness quotient of which you’ll just have to judge for yourselves).

But enough about the commodity cumshot consumption and jizz spreading behaviour of my youth (as I have other places to deposit my cumshots these days and generally ejaculate in the hands or mouth or tits of another (the latter especially so, being mammary gland impaired myself)), let’s meander back to the titular topic of cum dancing as it should be. For this, we’ll need to call upon non-stop erotic dancing dickgirl duo of Caitlyn Cumgusher & Janeen Junkstuffer from Futanaria with both beautiful big boner babes being equally well-endowed with a foot long penis each with an 8 inch girth who, as luck would have it, have a sort of big cock conga line erection rave thing going on with their girthy girl dicks dangling in time to the rhythm of the music!

However, between nuzzling her breasts while stroking her cock and getting down on her hands and knees for a large penis licking taste of Caitlyn’s turgid todger, it’s not long before jackoff queen Janeen gets the horn and suddenly stops dancing for an extended masturbation break jacking off her huge cock whilst Caitlyn carries on with an erotic lap dance dry humping her leg with her hard-on in hopes of encouraging her enormous erection to ejaculation - and ejaculate she does in epic proportions with her huge cock gushing cum up her dirty dancer’s ass (thus lending carnal credence and a touch of truth to the myth that you can get a girl pregnant from dancing with her (although I suppose a nude lapdance with a naked pussy in cum shot proximity to an ejaculating penis does have its inherent dangers)).

After she’s done cumming (which seems to take forever), it’s cock-laden Caitlyn who drops to her knees in the slippery jizz pool of cum on the dance floor (I’m sure Health & Safety would have something to say about this) and starts rubbing her penis in the sticky sperm bath below before grabbing up huge handfuls of cum with which to glaze Janeen’s giant genitals ’til they glisten with orgasmic girl goo. Then, it’s right back to “get down, get down, show your dickie around” (as we used to sing in school, budding perverts that we were albeit blissfully unaware of the human reproductive system and female genital anatomy as exemplified in the quasi-humorous yet sexually misguided schoolyard joke exchange, “What did you have for breakfast?” “Rubber balls and liquor.” “What did you have for lunch?” “Rubber balls and liquor.” “What did you do with your girlfriend last night?” “Rub her balls and lick her.” (blimey! if we’d accidentally cum across a chicks with dicks porn site like Futanaria back then, we’d have been fucked up big time in our sexual development thinking that girls have a penis between their legs, let alone a substantially bigger penis than our own) as our delightfully long dong dancing dickgirls carry on with their big dick boogie time with their glistening genitals covered in cum bobbing boneriffically at the video camera.

My prolific prose in praise of dancing penises and the gorgeous giant genital girls who wield their wanton wonders of nature now exhausted from excessive ejaculation - well, verbally if not genitally - I’d best be cumming to a close and wrap up our big dick disco leaving large penis lovelies Janeen Junkstuffer & Caitlyn Cumgusher to dance and cum another day as we enjoy these dance floor ejaculation videos from Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

    

    

    

Ever since I exposed myself to the fantasy hermaphrodite fetish world of Futanaria and all of the delicious dickgirls therein, I’ve come to realise that it would be a devastating sexual disappointment if I got a new girlfriend and, in due course (as intercourse goes), finally got her naked in bed only to discover to my dismay that she didn’t have a penis! Sure, I like pussy as much as the next guy, but have since become somewhat jaded against female genitalia without a huge cock & balls hanging down to eclipse the clitoris and labia. That said, I like big tits too, so the inconceivable idea of having a boobless girlfriend would be “udderly” unbearable. Likewise, the thought of trying to lead a healthy sex life without vaginas within which to poke my penis causes impenetrable psychosexual peril as well, thus striking busty shemales having both big boobs & big cocks off my list as acceptable “girlfriend material”.

And so, with the formerly gigantic genital gene pool of potential girlfriends to satisfy my strange sexual desires rapidly dwindling down to nearly nought, I can but come to a singular sensible conclusion: Hermaphrodites are the only answer! Indeed, having a sexy hermaphrodite girlfriend would be the best of all possible worlds - tits, cock & pussy in one convenient package…

…however, before I jump to conclusions that having a hermaphrodite dream girl to call my very own would be all of my bizarre sexual fantasies “cum” true in a bucket, I decided it might be sensible to compile a top ten list of pros & cons as to what having a busty girlfriend with a penis would be like:

Having a Hermaphrodite Girlfriend with a Penis and a Pussy - The Pros:

1. She’ll actually appreciate you leaving the toilet seat up after a pee.
2. She won’t mind you jacking off all the time because she does it so much herself.
3. Handjobs are better since she knows how to handle a cock and what feels best.
4. She’ll give you more blowjobs more often since she knows how good it feels.
5. You’ll have a nice, hard handle to hold onto whilst fucking her doggy-style.
6. You need only squeeze her cock to get her in the mood for sex.
7. You’ll know your way around her genitals instinctively rather than being vexed by that perplexing Rubik’s Cunt pussy puzzle most girls have between their legs.
8. You’ll be able to give her a squirting orgasm every time!
9. She’ll just roll over and fall asleep after cumming rather than wanting a cuddle.
10. You can stage a legal cock fight without inciting animal rights activists.

Having a Hermaphrodite Girlfriend with a Penis and a Pussy - The Cons:

1. Your friends will point and laugh at your girlfriend’s big boner bulge whenever she suffers an embarrassing spontaneous erection.
2. Mutual masturbation will result in an even bigger sticky mess than before.
3. When she gives you a blowjob, she’ll expect reciprocal blowjobs in return (and, if your girlfriend is a swallower, you’d best swallow her cum as well if you want to have any chance in hell of getting a cum swallowing blowjob from her ever again).
4. Neither of you will be able to talk during 69-position oral sex.
5. You might well end up accidentally teabagging her testicles during cunnilingus.
6. You’ll have to lift her balls out of the way before fucking her pussy.
7. When she’s spooning you in bed, you’ll know what that “broomstick in the back” complaint is all about.
8. She might get horny at night and fuck you up the ass in your sleep.
9. She’ll just roll over and fall asleep after cumming rather than wanting a cuddle.
10. Does she have a bigger cock than you? Two words: Penis Envy!

Pretty balanced in terms of the benefits and detriments, it seems, so perhaps some erotic visual aids would help in the decision making process. In order to illustrate the broad range of sexual possibilities that having a hermaphrodite for a girlfriend might hold, I’ll call upon darling dickgirls Porsha Peckerhard & Bianca Bonesworth from Futanaria to skillfully demonstrate such succulent hermaphrodite sex fetishes as large penis mutual masturbation with horny handjobs all around, assisted autofellatio with someone to cup your balls and push your head down to help get your cock in your mouth, big dick licking hard sucking monster cock blowjobs both solo and in the 69-position and explosive cumshots wherein one’s wanking buddy kindly holds her hand over your mouth to suppress your orgasmic screams of ecstasy at the enormous ejaculation emanating from your colossal cumming cock and then licking your dickhead clean of cum and leaning in for a deep French kiss that tastes suspiciously of your own semen as expertly exemplified in the explanatory erotica of these two hermaphrodites masturbating each other before busty blonde Bianca shoves her massive penis into little Porsha’s tight pussy and literally commences fucking the cum out of her cock in sexy hermaphrodite photos from their dirty Secret Sex Sleepover series from Futanaria.com: