Hermaphrodite Heaven

Having finally seen the ultimate hermaphrodite sex video of my self fucking fantasy wet dream cum true, my work here is finished (no, that’s a lie, really, since the very next somewhat “spontaneous” series posted on Futanaria after this one is well wank worthy of masturbation merit as well). Ah, but before we get to the super sexy hermaphrodite self sex video in question, I’d like to address an autoerotic oral sex oversight I’d made in my longest penis photo post from this most sensual self pleasuring pussy penetration pic set…

…as I’d put my whole focus on the self fucking extreme vaginal insertion of penis in pussy pictures and didn’t concentrate near enough on the big cock autofellatio aspect of her Self Sucking & Fucking Futanaria photos…

        

        

…which, in turn, aroused my curiosity, making me wonder whether having a real hermaphrodite girlfriend well-endowed with cunt and cock long enough to self suck and fuck herself was really that good an idea after all! After all, if a horny human hermaphrodite can have sex with itself and masturbate using her own mouth to get blowjobs on demand, what would be the point of me even being there? I mean, if she’s so much of a macropenis sexual mutant that my giant genitals girl doesn’t need me to fuck or suck her off to have sex or a blowjob to cumshot completion, whatever could I do for her?

I suppose the only saving grace of her gigantic genitalia is that her balls are too big to perform autocunnilingus on herself, should she be limber enough to do so (so thank Ah Pook my wife has a penis too small to self suck yet far from a micropenis and flexible enough to get fellatio and cunnilingus at the same time!). But, before I start to worry in an autofellatio ruined my sex life sort of way, we’d best get back to my self fucking hermaphrodite fetish as, even if you could have sex with yourself, doesn’t it always feel better to let someone else do it for you? And what good is sex if not for sharing?

Well, well-hung macrophallic monster cock maiden Adela Anaconda seems sexually content not to share her orgasm, as it goes, since this greedy girl’s genital giantism lets her fuck herself with ease in the first true solo female hardcore porn I’ve ever seen (with true hardcore porn being defined as the carnal cock in cunt coitus of a penis in full pussy penetrative sex with both male and female genitalia combined (thus generally genitally requiring at least two people of different genders to pull it off (hee hee, I said, “pull it off”!) unless we’re talking anal sex (which we’re not (but I digress))))!

Anyway, I best abandon my highly inter-sexed semen stream of cum shot consciousness before I get carried away with my cumming hermaphrodite self insemination issue again since, just as biggest penis masturbating her pussy fucking dickgirl Adela Anaconda’s enormous macrophallus of female ejaculation orgasm explodes, she aims her gushing cock squirting cum in her cunt and on clit for a post-coital pussy creampie with testicles before rubbing her semi-flaccid female erection of a clitoris penis in the pool of cum collecting sperm from the bukkake party in her pants and licking her girl dick clean in the cum on lips conclusion to my movie preview of her hermaphrodite sex Self Sucking & Fucking video from Futanaria.com:

Caught amidst the hustle and bustle of the horny holiday season, I’m afraid I don’t have time for a penis well-hung by the chimney with care or she-cock nestled all snug in its cunt but, since Santa Claus is cumming to town soon…

…just wanted to wish you all a Merry Christmas from Hermaphrodite Heaven in the true futanari style with bukkake cum basted cookies and cream pie of pussy, tits and cock cumming courtesy of our sexy Santa Sabrina Stifferstem having hardcore XXXmas orgy sex with big dick girls Rachel Ramrod, Porsha Peckerhard and Lana Lovelimbs sharing semen with Santa at Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

It’s a solo hermaphrodite sex fantasy question that’s crossed my mind more than once: If a dick girl has a penis and a pussy, can she fuck herself? After all, if you had a sexy cunt and cock combo, especially with a giant penis long enough for self-sucking autofellatio fun, then surely you’d try to have sex with yourself! Granted, your enormous erection would need to remain a fairly flexible phallus to achieve successful pussy self-penetration – you know, be able to stay sort of soft semi-flaccid with a hard-on – but wouldn’t that just be the ultimate wet dream “cum” true? So, as if being able to give yourself a blowjob isn’t enough, here’s horny human hermaphrodite sexy girl with the longest penis in the world Adele Anaconda to show off her self-sucking and self-fucking sexual skills as my self-sex fantasy fulfilled at Futanaria.com…

    

…kinda gives “Go Fuck Yourself” a whole new meaning, doesn’t it? ;~) But if a self-suck blowjob is called autofellatio, then what would a self-fuck be? Auto-coitus? Who can say? Not to mention that, since this big boner babe is going bareback fucking herself, should she be worried about the danger of natural vs artificial self-insemination? Oh, and does having actual sex with yourself count as masturbation, or does self-sex feel like something more? And, if such self-fucking hermaphrodite insemination takes fertile seed, will she foster a superior third sex which will render the whole of both woman- & mankind obsolete from a two-party procreative need for sex perspective?

So many questions. At least we get to find out it’s possible to enjoy sloppy seconds on your own as we watch our extremely well-endowed woman of intersexed interest use her gigantic genitalia combined in the carnal cock cunt connection of fucking her very own pussy cream pie (ooh, wouldn’t multiple orgasms get messy for such a heavy cummer as she? just imagine how bad it’d be if pussy squirting female ejaculation was involved as well!) within these sexy hermaphrodite self-fucking photos from Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

I’ve got an important question for all you hermaphrodite lovers today, but I’ll get to that later. First off, I just don’t get off on the whole sex freak of nature thing. Sure, I love a girl with a penis as much as one with gigantic genitalia of her natural gender, and I don’t care if her fem cock is too big to fuck or suck, as there are plenty of other ways to make a girl cum in my mouth so I can swallow her sweet sex juice. However, I just don’t get the more sexual mutant fuck monster matters like female diphallia, as what would I do with a girl with two cocks? Honestly, it’s as impractical as trying to have sex with a girl with two vaginas!

No, double penis diphallic dickgirls like Lana Lovelimbs just aren’t my cup of jizz. After all, it would take two separate sex partners to please her penises in a threesome situation (erm, unless we introduce her to double pussy girl above), so there’d not be anything to do with this unnaturally well-endowed woman if I got her alone apart from a sensual touch of mutual masturbation. Then again, get her to have sex with two girls at the same time, and we’d see some sticky sexual escapades as occurred when she got together with big boner bearing bisexual female fuck buddy beauties Chrissy Cockswell & Traci Tripod for their Sperm Soaked Bed Sheets video at Futanaria.com!..

…where it’s diphallic double dick girl cum on tits times two! I thought it was bad enough lucky girls get to have multiple orgasms, but one girl getting to enjoy multiple, simultaneous orgasms when she’s the only one cumming? It’s just not fair on us mere male members of the human species! Anyway, just for our erotic edification, here are some more still cum shots of the mammary masturbating main vein multiple ejaculation event in the Sperm Soaked Bed Sheets video from Futanaria.com…

        

        

        

…but a dickgirl’s double cumshot ejaculating jizz on two girls’ tits at the same time is only a post-coital climax to this massive cum on mammaries movie, as it’s preceded by plenty of pussy fucking to prove these sexy giant genital girls are not just beautiful busty transsexual shemales in disguise! However, for that, we’ll need videos.

Which brings me to my question: You see, I received this comment from my well-hung herm loving mate Johnny W who’d enquired, “Just figured I’d ask, for all of us, what happened to 6 video previews, why is it only 1 longer one now? I kinda miss seeing more than one video =(” Well, Johnny, for a long time, I’d been getting requests on my big breasts boob blog for embedded video content rather than our historical click to download videos and, after converting that one over, decided to do all our porn blogs.

However, after seeing your comment, I thought I’d best let my dear readers decide if such change was a good thing, and switch back to our traditional method of viewing videos here if that would satisfy all your sexual desires. Thus, strictly for comparison’s sake, I’ve prepared six preview clips the old way to see what your sexual preference might be as a group sex collective. And so, straight from my perverted girl penis pleasure to yours, I give you three girls with four cocks and six tits in six clips of their cumtastic Sperm Soaked Bed Sheets video from Futanaria.com…

    

    

    

…now, granted, the embedded flash video below is just the six clips above cobbled together (I’m sorry, but I just didn’t have time to edit two different versions) but, under normal conditions, I’d have taken short segments from throughout the whole movie to give you a better idea of what the full video had to offer. As it goes, we’re already missing two girls’ cum shots (lest you wonder why they look like they’ve taken a bukkake cum bath by the fourth girly cock fight video clip), more blowjobs than you can shake your semen swollen stick at (including one tag team suck off that can’t be beat) and big jizz loads of yet more super sexy lesbian cum hermaphrodite fucking fun!

But I’ll let you decide: Should we keep the new embedded flash video trailer format as it is so below, or go back to our original individual preview clips as above? Please let me know, and I’ll be happy to accommodate your cock girl wishes. Once again, being a quick repeater, here are cum drenched dickgirls Lana Lovelimbs, Traci Tripod & Chrissy Cockswell getting wet and messy in Sperm Soaked Bed Sheets from Futanaria.com:

P.S. …and, no, you can’t have it both ways. ;~P

Well, we’ve followed adorable intersexed mother to be Caitlyn throughout her hermaphrodite pregnancy, from that first pregnant shemale shocker all the way to the sensual preggo belly cum massage from busty blonde Abby…

        

…so, now that her pregnancy has cum full term and she’s given birth (hmm, I wonder if she had a bouncing little baby dick girl? that, and did her baby bump it’s head on mommy’s penis on the way out of her pussy? and not to mention whether her child will grow up to appear on some sort of “My Mom is a Hermaphrodite” Jerry Springer show special?), we enter the postpartum stage wherein yet another well-endowed wonder of nature occurs; lactation and breast feeding!

But, with no baby to suckle the nipples of her milky tits full at the moment, we find our new mother masturbating instead, squirting breast milk on her penis then licking it off for lubrication (gives a whole new meaning to cock milking, doesn’t it?), self-sucking tit milk from her cock and then wanking away with her lactating lubricant. And, although she seems able to achieve orgasm from breast feeding alone, she keeps on jacking off her giant penis whilst caressing her breasts to express more big boob milk until she starts cumming with semen and breast milk combined (now that’s a tasty big tits and huge cock milk cum cocktail I’d like to try!).

Even after the breast milking cum squirting stage of her sex mutant female orgasm subsides, simultaneous lactation and ejaculation carry on cumming with large lactating breasts leaking milk and cock leaking cum like big tits and poor penis are suffering from postnatal drip in these hermaphrodite breast milk and semen sample photos plus a brief preview clip of Caitlyn Cumgusher in her Lactation & Masturbation video from Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

P.S. Sorry for skimping on the long cum shot to put my big boobs full focus on the milking breast fetish aspect of this lactating mammary gland movie, but you just don’t see sexy hermaphrodite lactation videos all too often! ;~)

Sincerest apologies to any intrepid science web surfers who made a simple typographical error of transposition in your search engine looking for the Large Hadron Collider, as you’ll not find anything about that here. If, on the other hand, you’re a sex scientist interested in high-energy hermaphrodite penis particle physics, then I believe we can help (and your typo will have served you well!) as my title is in reference to this photo from Futanaria…

…the “large hardon collider” in question being made up of otherwise dainty dickgirls Adela Anaconda & Nikki Noblong using their enormous erections as educational tools to provide a phallic lesson on what happens when gigantic cocks collide in their Proper Ladies, Protruding Poles video (hmm, perhaps large hard-on collider would’ve been a better title).

But will they ever find the elusive jizz boson in their giant genital quest for unknown quantum carnal knowledge? Who can say?! They are making a good and proper scientific effort, though, since their massive penis sexual mutant movie starts off with our genital giantism girls drinking a hot cup of tea and, as any decent sci-fi fan of a theoretical physicist will tell you, tea provides a perfectly serviceable source of Brownian motion for advanced propulsion systems based upon infinite improbability drive technology!

However, separating science fact from science fiction seems to be the last thing on these sexy girls’ minds, as they seem far more interested in feeling up each other and engaging in phallic lesbian mutual masturbation after the horny aphrodisiac / hyper erectile effects of their special sex drug doctored tea kick in. But even with their scientific method being flawed from this point forward, their impromptu little lesson in female autofellatio made easy does serve to answer one burning genital question, “Why suck it yourself when you can get someone else to do it for you?”

And so they do (although I must admit that seeing a pretty pair of genitally blessed multi-gender girlfriends giving blowjobs to each other does nothing to redress the dearth of autocunnilingus in autoerotic oral sex porn like a nice big penis hermaphrodite performing autofellatio does by monster cock as giant clit analogy) before penis in pussy hermaphrodite sex ensues (upon which I was pleased to see a super sexy self-suck and fuck scene find my aforementioned autofellatio balance restored (see vidcap below)).

But I’d best lay off the parenthetical expressions for now and get back to our theoretical physics to determine if the enormous ejaculation orgasm of a girl penis explosion in the large hardon collider results in the secret jizz boson we seek or ends up creating a black hole of glory self-sucking ourselves into some hyper-sexual singularity by opening a well-endowed wormhole inside the whole space-time cunt-inuum locking us in the temporal anomaly cum time travel trace of an endless autofellatio loop with our pussy pumping pair of pretty long penis partners Nikki Noblong & Adela Anaconda in some sexy sample photos and brief preview clip from their Proper Ladies, Protruding Poles video cumming courtesy of Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

P.S. And in other post-coital quantum physics questions, since the periodic power of a penis pulsing makes love cum in spurts with an orgasmic surge, is the cumshot a wave or a particle? :~?

To be perfectly honest to the dude and other hermaphrodite lovers, I wasn’t really planning to blog Raging Erectile Attraction. Until I watched the video, that is, since the girls’ sweet little back-story kinda reminded me of how I came to meet my wife. Oh, and speaking of the missus, she recently found herself on some website for “cum eating women who live on a diet of cum” and came across a cocktail recipe for cum in your mouth she shared with me: Basically, it’s a bit of Bailey’s Irish Cream mixed with lime juice so the curdling of the cream induced by the addition of citric acid is supposed to resemble the texture and consistency of a cum shot. However, having drunk a smooth, creamy Bailey’s with citrus juice in once before, I’m sad to say you just don’t get that squeaky teeth feeling ejaculating a big load of jizz in your mouth can bring. No, for a more realistic cum cocktail, you need to explore alternative ejaculation recipes like the one Mandy Mainvein and brand new dickgirl Sabrina Stifferstem from Futanaria were caught drinking below…

…but back to their back-story; much like Sabrina & Mandy, my wife & I met on the internet (albeit not on an internet dating site, truth be told). We spent the first month just chatting and, due to the fact she had no profile photos plus the sexually ambiguous nature of her screen name, I didn’t know what she looked like or even what gender she was! But, still, we fast fell in love.

Over time, we exchanged photos (hers being fairly innocent & conservative whereas I was wont to throw in the occasional cock shot every now & again) and engaged in frequent mutual masturbation sessions from the cyber-sex perspective, but on-line love and lust combined remained unrequited in real life. Trouble was, I lived 5,000 miles away and wasn’t in a position to travel at the time due to “personal circumstances” so, in the end, we had to wait six long months before we could see if reality would live up to the fantasy.

When we finally did meet face to face, what started out as a warm embrace of greeting soon found us totally naked and fucking on the floor like a pair of horny hares within minutes of our first kiss. But, to cut a long sex story short (despite every last detail being indelibly etched on my pornographic memory forever), that was 10 years ago and we’re happily married now, so ours seems a sordid tale of an illicit internet affair gone good (for a change).

But is it a change, really? Or does our personal experience of successfully finding love on the internet simply serve to dispel several firmly held yet fallacious myths about sex, relationships and internet romance? To wit…

1. People are fundamentally dishonest on-line; lying, posting fake photos and misrepresenting themselves in an effort to gain your trust under false pretenses (I’ve never encountered so much honesty as I have on the ‘net, maybe the rare case of feeling free to let your true self come out to play).

2. Finding a soul mate must be love at first sight (wrong again, since I fell in love with mine long before ever seeing what she looked like or even knowing what gender her genitals might be; she could have had a penis and a pussy for all I cared (although, when I finally did see her photo, I must amusingly admit the first thought to cross my mind was “blondes aren’t my type”)).

3. If a girl has sex on the first date, she’s not appropriate marriage material (don’t even get me started on this one as, even if she’s a total slut fucking anything with a penis and pulse, count yourself lucky – a girl who likes sex and knows her mind well enough to fuck on a first date is hard to cum by, lest I get on to the sexual double-standard of gender inequality this sexist stereotype borne of an unfair and outdated Puritanical attitude promotes).

4. It’s impossible to find true love on-line because the internet is full of porn perverts just looking for casual sex with no strings attached (then again, she & I are a couple of porn perverts who still look for NSA sex on the ‘net! ;~P).

…ah, but I’ve gone off on a tangent for quite long enough here, so let’s join Mandy Mainvein and her new-found sexy hermaphrodite girlfriend Sabrina Stifferstem (what was it FetishIzMe was saying about Futanaria introducing too many new girls?) as phallic female friends with big boner benefits falling in lust and fucking on the first date before cumming like a firehose to fill up two glasses and share a cum cocktail (jizz & tonic?) in some sample photos and my own personal preview trailer (replete with close-up hermaphrodite sex perspectives) of their Raging Erectile Attraction video at Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

[Update: Special thanks to RT for pointing out the error of my ways. I've since fixed the preview video and added a download link below... :~)]

Imagine my disappointment at reading this article at Starcasm.net (so why do I insist on calling them Stargasm instead?) which featured the following Lady Gaga pussy flash photo sadly proving once and for all to my shock & horror that… *gasp* …the lovely Lady Gaga is not a hermaphrodite after all, simply sporting a pussy piercing where her penis should be! Oh well, that’s that intersexed female pop star phallic fantasy quashed forever. Honestly, I was hoping she’d be packing a penis in her pants – you know, a reasonably large cock at least the big dick dimensions of sexy redhead hermaphrodite Brittany Batterblaster from Futanaria.com (the latter as shown with a boner below just for sexy side-cock to cute cunt but no cock comparison’s sake)…

    

…meh, you can’t have everything, I guess (after all, where would you put it?). But getting to see gorgeous ginger dickgirl goddess Brittany‘s beautiful big fat boner on its own like that brings me up to another, yet unrelated, point. Over on her Big Tits Transexuals blog, my wife recently mentioned the fact she prefers her shemale porn solo. To wit, “I would rather see the object of my desire displaying her womanly curves and her fabulous fem-cock to the camera all on her own than see some other lucky sod getting his ass fucked or fucking the ass of MY tranny. I also appreciate that not everyone feels the same as I do, especially as I am a woman and most of you, reading this, are men. I know that there is a difference in what we like to masturbate to, as a rule, as different genders. Nature’s a bitch like that.” Well said, that (wo)man!

However, I’m not entirely sure her female perspective on porn is so gender specific, since I feel pretty much the same. For all my talk about seeing the penis as a fashion accessory in boy / girl porn, when I “cum” right down to the heart of the matter, getting girls alone provides far more masturbation fantasy potential. Yes, it’s nice to to see dick girls enjoying each other in a phallic busty lesbian orgy of ambiguous genitalia every once in a while…

…but where can you find room to fit yourself in the picture? No, it just goes to prove that, sometimes, even two’s a crowd. Which is why I take such great penis pleasure in whenever Futanaria features a solo set since you get a sexy girl jacking off her genitals just for you, providing ample opportunity for you to offer to lend her a helping hand or mouth or wherever else amongst your anatomy as a suitable pseudo-sexual orifice to accommodate her cock!

And that’s where big boner babe Brittany Batterblaster “cums” in, flashing her pussy and waving her penis in your genital direction (I’m just a little bit disappointed she’s shaved, since I was really curious to see if she had ginger pubes hiding behind her big “mommy balls” (don’t blame me! you’ll have to watch the video for that one)), all the while offering erotic encouragement for you to make her cum until her erection explodes in orgasm like some giant jizz fountain as she offers to share her sweet girl semen to taste in pics and clips from her phallic female ejaculation video at Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

The benefits of semen massage are manifold. Not only can its zinc content contribute to the reduction of acne, but cum also contains vitamins C & B12, both of which serve to nourish the skin and increase elasticity, thus reducing wrinkles, dry skin, stretch marks and the appearance of ageing. And, seeing as stretch marks are a most serious issue during pregnancy, where better to rub cum massage “lotion” than on the boobs & belly of a pregnant woman?..

…or a pregnant hermaphrodite (since it seems our pretty preggo girl’s got a penis in the photo above (so I can’t help but wonder whether it was natural self-insemination that got her up the duff?))! Lucky for her, the childbearing Caitlyn Cumgusher was able to recruit beautiful busty blonde dickgirl Abby Armshlong to assist in administering her sensual semen massage therapy session and, considering both girls can ejaculate jizz for minutes on end, there’s more than enough cum shots to go ’round her big pregnant belly cream pie in these sexy sample photos and brief preview trailer from their Boobs, Belly & Boners nearly half hour cum massage video at Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

Just a sexy girl dick heads-up to let you know I’ve created a dickgirl’s model directory / index for Hermaphrodite Heaven listing all the Futanaria models with their most essential tits and cock size statistics as well as a description and links to all the herm blogs here within which they appear. Just click on the banners below or above to take a look, and stay tuned since I’m now in the process of editing photos & video clips for our very next futanari blog!

“Golden showers fill your eyes, I’ll await your piss surprise, pee pretty darling, do not dry, and I will drink your love hole pie-eee…“

My only experience with watersports (and, no, we’re not talking swimming, skiing & diving here) was letting a girl hold my penis while I pee. Trouble was, the moment she touched my cock, I started getting an erection (and those of you who’ve tried to piss through a stiffy will know just how much of a problem peeing with a hard on can be, let alone when someone else is trying to aim it for you). The worst thing, though, was that I had sex with her earlier and find it quite painful pissing after I’ve cum since, although not anatomically correct, it feels like my urethra has got some sort of piss vs semen backwash effect going on. Thus, for me, sex and piss just don’t mix.

“…once I wizz away, my big fat boner, once I wizz away, my big fat bone, pee pretty darling, do not dry, and I will drink your love hole pie-eee…“

However, I have a fair few friends who are into watersports, ranging from getting turned on watching girls peeing to a full-on piss-soaked fuck-fest! So, despite the fact I’m not a pee fetish fan myself (although I might be willing to give it a go in the virtual sense should Nintendo ever come out with a Wee Sports package), it would be remiss of me not to blog a proper piss-up. And so, today’s futa fetish feature shall be Piss Showers of Bliss starring Zoey Zipperipper, Erica Erect & Penny Pistol from Futanaria.com…

…but, before we get to that, I also need to tell you about a wee little format change here on Hermaphrodite Heaven. To wit, we’re switching to embedded videos based on popular demand so, rather than getting the usual new-half dozen of 20 second video clips, I’ll be making movie trailer-type tube-style videos to provide a better and more comprehensive preview of all the erotic action therein. Of course, for those of you porn collectors who (like myself), prefer to archive and view them off-line because inline videos annoy the tits off you, I’ll include a video download link after the embedded video version.

“…girl, you’re gonna carry that wee, carry that wee a long time, girl, you’re gonna carry that wee, carry that wee a long time…“

Right, then, on with the Piss Showers of Bliss! The video starts off with our enormously erect and talented Erica with her head between her knees, giving herself a DIY blowjob alone on the couch. However, it being Karmic law that someone will always walk in on your when you’re wanking, it soon becomes a case of mouth masturbation interrupted as Penny & Zoe wander in only to find our female fellatrix couched in a most compromising position. Once they stop pointing and laughing at her surprise phallic feeding, the penis equipped pair take an intense autoerotic interest in her amazing solo oral sex skill, so Erica provides a practical demonstration of her fine autofellatio technique as her cock curious onlookers get more close-up and personal.

“…I never give you my piss load, I only jizz you ejaculation, and in the middle of my masturbation, I break down…“

And, as you’d expect, it’s not long before the other two girls try self-sucking their own cocks, only to find their less well-endowed phalli don’t reach! Zoey even tries to lend a helping hand by squeezing her big tits against Penny’s ass in the hope of pushing her penis into her mouth, but her small cock is not long enough to even touch her tongue. :~( After several somewhat funny but failed autofellatio efforts, it appears poor Penny decides, “Piss on this!” (literally) and begins urinating on the girls as a wee tits wet t-shirt contest commences with a piss filled Penny peeing all over boobs and faces (please note I said “faces” not “faeces”, as the latter is a totally different fetish :~P).

“…girl, you’re gonna carry that wee, carry that wee a long time, girl, you’re gonna carry that wee, carry that wee a long time…“

Then, as if to show girls can pee standing up, Penny gets on her feet as our tits and cock couple kneel in piss worship before her. However, when our pretty pair of phallic lesbians begin taking more of an interest in each other than Penny’s perpetually pissing penis, she takes advantage ot the two girls kissing by sliding her cock between their locked lips to get a two-on-one blowjob but starts peeing in their mouths instead! It’s then we learn that, apparently, contracting piss in mouth disease makes girls horny since it’s soon back up on the couch for a pee-soaked mutual masturbation session.

“…and in the end, the piss you take, is equal to the piss, you make.“

Once all three well-endowed women get caught wanking off in a watersports orgy until we find our trio of masturbating girls pissing and cumming at the same time (I thought they weren’t supposed to cross the streams! no, wait, that’s Ghostbusters), we see just how peesome a threesome can be! But, as this blog is in danger of getting too silly for it’s own good (truly, I was just about to tell you how I had a 4th of July essay rejected at school because I’d entitled it “You’re a Nation, America!”), I’ll stop to show you darling dickgirls Zoey Zipperipper, Erica Erect & Penny Pistol in some sample photos and my preview trailer from their Piss Showers of Bliss video from Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

P.S. Get it? Urination America?! Oh, nevermind… ;~)

Today’s herm blog is dual-purpose (as if live futa hermaphrodite dickgirls aren’t already dual-purpose in and of themselves): First, I wanted to share some clips from the Cumming Between a Couple video from Futanaria I’d featured photos from in my Biggest Penis Girl 3rd Wheel in Threesome blog but, even before that, address the continuing cock size debate that’s been raging like an enormous erection in need of relief ever since I’d uttered the fateful phrase, “Hey, girl, your penis is too big,” a little over a year ago…

    

…as far as the great penis size debate is concerned, we’ve had comments ranging from small penis lover HermLvrX who personally prefers his futas with “embarrassingly small cocks” or even “clit-dicks” (although I’m not sure from his ambiguous genital reference if he meant male or female clit-dicks (but, yes, HLX, V & I were most amused)), to extra large penis protagonist zeeg who’d simply enquired, “Why do you people hate big cocks so much?”

Oh, and for those unfamiliar with the female clit-dick concept, here’s one on real hermaphrodite or just giant clitoris girl Lisa Cock from My Vagina Site…

…but, girl with a big clit / small penis hermaphrodite potential aside and getting back on to our burning cock size question (ouch, I didn’t think that sentence through, did I?), we don’t really hate big cocks here. To be honest, the simple phallic fact of the matter is that we love a large penis as long as it’s practical! In other words, can you fuck it? Can you suck it? Or just stand back and admire it for the well-endowed wonder of sexual anatomy it is?

Of course, I can only speak from the shared penis perspectives of my wife & I (since it would be very wrong to assume that our strange and quite possibly perverse sexual preferences are the same as everyone else’s) but, when we invite a spare cock to share our bed, our marital sex motto has always been “the bigger the better” for such bonus boners as long as you can actually do something with them. And, since DVP is a favorite threesome fucking activity for us, to say penis size doesn’t matter would be a phallus-y fallacy at best! From past experience, we’ve found that anything less than a 7.5 to 8-inch long penis proves problematic in such 2-on-1 (or, more accurately, 2-in-1) swinging sex scenarios (i.e. it tends to fall out as our double fuck ensues)…

…so looking at the sexy ladies in my penis size comparison chart above (but trying hard not to sound like some gigantic genital version of Goldilocks and the Three Bears), it doesn’t take a pocket rocket scientist to see that 17-inch Heidi HugeTube’s well-hung hard-on is too big (her giant genital girth alone proving an extreme challenge to cock in cunt cohabitation), 6.5-inch Porsha Perckerhard’s petite prick is too small (to wit, we’d end up in a fucking “free willy” situation with hers), but just a little longer than 10-inch penis Brittany Batterblaster’s big boner is just right for sharing pussy with another penis!

But fucking isn’t everything (and butt fucking isn’t anything, since we don’t do anal sex either way), so I expect even an unfeasibly well-endowed human with the biggest penis in the world would be welcome in our humble home. So “cum into our parlour, set beside, undo your fly,” and I’m sure we’ll find something to do to relieve your rigid erection of its swollen balls’ bounty! If we can’t fuck it, there’s always a blowjob. If we can’t suck it, there’s always a titfuck. And, if your dick’s too big to fit between a nice pair of tits, then we’ll just have to explore more creative masturbation methods to wank you off!..

…after all, what’s the point of a do-it-yourself handjob, just jacking off jizz all alone in the corner when you’ve got a horny couple of cock hungry cum sluts both ready and willing, able and eager to at least lend a helping hand in your auto-erotic effort to ejaculate an orgasm (or am I making it far too obvious we’ve not enjoyed the company of cock for a long time cumming since our last?)? Anyway, before this blog turns into some sort of swinger’s personal ad for a couple seeking an extra large penis partner to share, I’d best move on to our Cumming Between a Couple video preview, of which…

Futanaria writes (of this desperate for sex scene):

Porsha has hot sex with Brittany while her girlfriend Heidi jerks off and watches. Porsha and Heidi have been in a relationship for a while but Porsha is mad because she can’t fit Heidi’s massive dong in her tight pussy. Heidi has the great idea of having her friend Brittany fuck Porsha. When Porsha meets Brittany it’s love at first sight. The two immediately start getting it on sucking, 69ing and making-out. Heidi tries to join in but Porsha pushes her away so she sits off to the side, jerking her giant cock frustratingly. Brittany fucks Porsha doggy and missionary. While being fucked Porsha busts a huge load in her condom then Brittany puts the full condom in her mouth and Porsha dangles in on her ass. Heidi cums and shoots thick streams of jizz across Porsha and Brittany as they continue to fuck!

…and so, without further well-endowed ado, a handful of highlights in clips from the massive cock Cumming Between a Couple video at Futanaria.com:

    

    

    

When I first saw lovely long penis dickgirl Lauren Lancealot having two orgasms in rapid succession – cumming first masturbating herself by dry humping a pillow and then coaxing out her second cumshot with a semen lubricated self titfuck (and no “second cumming” jokes, please), a silly song from my youth sprang to mind that went something like, “I am happy, I am gay, coz I cum twice a day, I’m your mailman. I don’t mess with keys or locks, I just stick it in your box, I’m your mailman. I can cum in any kind of weather, coz I’ve got a bag that’s made of leather,” and so on. But, when I really began to pay attention to the introspective mood Lauren was in…

…it inspired me to wax poetic on her penis with an erotic tale of unrequited lust – you know, like when you’re missing someone so much you can’t help but begin masturbating over memories of them (thus granting them great power in every orgasm you offer, if the sexual metaphysics of masturbation are to be believed). But, since I started out with a funny sex song today, I might as well just carry on in the same manner. To this end, I’ve taken the liberty of changing the lyrics to “Tears on My Pillow” by Little Anthony and the Imperials to go something like this (with wank tits bits in doo wop fashion)…

You don’t male member me
(But) I masturbate to you
‘Twas cock so long ago
You drained my balls in two
Cums on my pillow (tits wank, tits wank)
Stains in my heart (tits wank)
Over you (tits wank, tits wank, tits wank, tits wank…)

If we could screw again
I wouldn’t masturbate
I’d gladly take your jizz
On tits and hands and face
Cum on my pillow (tits wank, tits wank)
Stains in my heart (tits wank)
Over you (tits wank, tits wank, tits wank, tits wank…)

…and so, by popular request (and since my silly cum on titties ditty probably won’t many of it’s own), I give you Lauren Lancealot in just a few fine phallic photos & clips from her Hard Shaft Stroking Session video at Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

    

    

    

Apologies for the perversely pre-emptive strike on this one (i.e. I don’t have the video to blog yet), but I have to say that “Cumming Between a Couple” is the first Futanaria series I’ve been really excited about in a very long time…

…as, apart from the immense eroticism of the full size cum shot photo from which I made my cover pic, there are two reasons I find this hermaphrodite sex series both intensely arousing and mildly amusing at the same time:

First off, in a nod to my Sympathetic Voyeurism blog, having been recruited as a sort of sexual surrogate in my teens, I can relate to the intense sexual frustration of of playing the voyeur watching a couple have sex with me being left out of the threesome potential of the situation. Although I didn’t sit quietly in the corner jacking off to the live sex show unfolding before my very eyes, all of the other erotic elements are there; vying for the best perspective so I could more clearly see her sexy lips stretching around his cock or the point of pussy penetration once fucking ensued, the sensual and seductive tease of her open mouth with tongue extended in dangerous proximity to my penis in the promise of oral sex but with no blowjob to cum (the phrase “being left high and dry” spurts to mind) and holding her leg up to help them get in the best sex positions for full penetration copulation (the worst part of that being feeling the vibration of his hard and far from tantric thrusts shaking her lithesome thigh flesh); my only consolation being the fact I’d be getting sloppy seconds afterwards, since he was never able to give her an orgasm (despite him having a much bigger penis than mine).

Second, with respect to Keeping it Real (and contrary to my own teen sex experiences as cock-equipped concubine / cuckold in waiting), it’s the girl with the biggest penis that gets left out of the threesome action! Ah, is that poetic genital justice long belated by large penis proxy or what?! :~D But, back to our present reality, remember me complaining about the freakishly gigantic genitalia some of the sex mutant monster cock models of Futanaria have been sporting of late? Well, watching our phallic lesbian couple having sex whilst totally ignoring the big cock babe in the background leaves me with the distinct impression that the live futanari folk have finally cum to accept that bigger isn’t always better when it cums to cock size, too! After all, what’s the use of having a penis too big to fuck? Sometimes, having the biggest cock sucks, but not in a good way ;~), so I’m glad to see they get it.

Anyway, I did so enjoy seeing comparatively normal sized penis pair Porsha Peckerhard and Brittany Batterblaster fucking, leaving unfeasibly well-hung Heidi HugeTube languishing in the intense sexual frustration of being forced to watch them have sex as if an uninvited voyeur left masturbating all by her lonesome in need of relief until her penis explodes in a squirting shower of semen, cumming all over our conjoined couple of hermaphrodites so deep into each other that they’re obviously oblivious to the unexpected bukkake cum bath they’re getting, I just had to share them with you. Of course, I’ll be blogging some clips as soon as I get the video but, for now, just a few fine futanari fetish photos from Cumming Between a Couple at Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

Although we’ve already seen scenes from the Giantess & Giant Dick Growth video at Futanaria on my most recent Keeping it Real dickgirl blog post…

…and, although I’ve got another “cumming” soon in my girl’s got a penis pipeline, I wanted to jump in beforehand to respond to tithunt32, who had requested, “Pics? Please, I implore to you.” And so I shall, since I’m happy to see someone who appreciates porn photos as much as I do (in fact, my top 10 favorite porn scenes of all time are in photo rather than video form!).

However, there was another comment on that post which really got me to thinking when FetishIzMe wrote, “Since i am a fan of a number of fetishes, taking expansion porn and hermaphroditism and throwing it into one was in my opinion the closest thing to a home run futanaria has ‘cum’ to in a long time,” because, to be honest, I must admit that I’d never quite got my horny head around the whole Mastasia extreme breast expansion phenomenon…

        

…and thus had never quite come to regard our darling dickgirls of Futanaria as being it’s extreme penis expansion counterpart, despite having seen both big breast and gigantic genital expansion fetishes represented therein, too…

        

…but, rather, merely a means of satisfying my growing hermaphrodite fetish (for which I blame my wife) and, as a consequence, tend more toward those sexy series with more erotic realism than their monster sex mutants could provide. Thanks to the thoughts of FetishIzMe, though, I’m now starting to develop a new perspective on extreme porn like this, and so shall endeavor to serve up a balance between the realistic and unbelievable in the future.

So, until then, for tithunt32 and anyone else sharing in our appreciation and passion for porn in photo form, it’s Chelsi Choadload & Abby Armshlong in a few phallic female Giantess & Giant Dick Growth photos from Futanaria.com: