Hermaphrodite Heaven

Sincerest apologies to The Kinks but, whenever I heard their hit song Come Dancing on the radio, my perverted mind always thought it was Cum Dancing they were singing about. Even the lyrics were a bit different from the innocent sexual innuendo of the original: “All her boyfriends used to cum and call,” “he’d end up blowing off his penis for a week” and “all for a cuddle and a pecker on the cheek” being but a few examples that the erotic implications of real cum dancing brought to bear.

This was just one of many sexual myths and masturbation misconceptions from my formative years. Eccentric Uncle Cyril, to cite another, was never caught dragging his dick through the gravy or waving his penis at passers-by. One phallic fallacy I took quite literally was with regard to the health benefits of cum (as it seemed a waste to catch my cumshot in a tissue and simply discard it after a successful masturbation session, not to mention the Bible’s admonition not to spill your seed on the ground and all).

And my uses for cum after wanking we manifold: Forget the semen dribbling cum sharing “hair gel” incident in There’s Something About Mary (although I’m sure that the high protein content in cum would provide seminal nourishment to one’s hair follicles), my own applications for the issue of orgasm were more selfish in nature in an effort to boost masculinity. Having learned that there were high levels of the hormone testosterone in semen from our sexual health studies in school and knowing that this was the primary agent triggering the development of masculine characteristics such as body hair growth and the deepening of the voice (not to mention the malady of male pattern baldness which runs in the genes of my family but, despite its hereditary nature, is a condition I’ve fortunately escaped), I reasoned that by swallowing my cum after autofellatio self-sucking blowjobs, my voice would get deeper (it did to contrabasso proportions) and rubbing cum on my face after jacking off would help in my efforts to grow a beard (the facial follicle efficacy and beardiness quotient of which you’ll just have to judge for yourselves).

But enough about the commodity cumshot consumption and jizz spreading behaviour of my youth (as I have other places to deposit my cumshots these days and generally ejaculate in the hands or mouth or tits of another (the latter especially so, being mammary gland impaired myself)), let’s meander back to the titular topic of cum dancing as it should be. For this, we’ll need to call upon non-stop erotic dancing dickgirl duo of Caitlyn Cumgusher & Janeen Junkstuffer from Futanaria with both beautiful big boner babes being equally well-endowed with a foot long penis each with an 8 inch girth who, as luck would have it, have a sort of big cock conga line erection rave thing going on with their girthy girl dicks dangling in time to the rhythm of the music!

However, between nuzzling her breasts while stroking her cock and getting down on her hands and knees for a large penis licking taste of Caitlyn’s turgid todger, it’s not long before jackoff queen Janeen gets the horn and suddenly stops dancing for an extended masturbation break jacking off her huge cock whilst Caitlyn carries on with an erotic lap dance dry humping her leg with her hard-on in hopes of encouraging her enormous erection to ejaculation - and ejaculate she does in epic proportions with her huge cock gushing cum up her dirty dancer’s ass (thus lending carnal credence and a touch of truth to the myth that you can get a girl pregnant from dancing with her (although I suppose a nude lapdance with a naked pussy in cum shot proximity to an ejaculating penis does have its inherent dangers)).

After she’s done cumming (which seems to take forever), it’s cock-laden Caitlyn who drops to her knees in the slippery jizz pool of cum on the dance floor (I’m sure Health & Safety would have something to say about this) and starts rubbing her penis in the sticky sperm bath below before grabbing up huge handfuls of cum with which to glaze Janeen’s giant genitals ’til they glisten with orgasmic girl goo. Then, it’s right back to “get down, get down, show your dickie around” (as we used to sing in school, budding perverts that we were albeit blissfully unaware of the human reproductive system and female genital anatomy as exemplified in the quasi-humorous yet sexually misguided schoolyard joke exchange, “What did you have for breakfast?” “Rubber balls and liquor.” “What did you have for lunch?” “Rubber balls and liquor.” “What did you do with your girlfriend last night?” “Rub her balls and lick her.” (blimey! if we’d accidentally cum across a chicks with dicks porn site like Futanaria back then, we’d have been fucked up big time in our sexual development thinking that girls have a penis between their legs, let alone a substantially bigger penis than our own) as our delightfully long dong dancing dickgirls carry on with their big dick boogie time with their glistening genitals covered in cum bobbing boneriffically at the video camera.

My prolific prose in praise of dancing penises and the gorgeous giant genital girls who wield their wanton wonders of nature now exhausted from excessive ejaculation - well, verbally if not genitally - I’d best be cumming to a close and wrap up our big dick disco leaving large penis lovelies Janeen Junkstuffer & Caitlyn Cumgusher to dance and cum another day as we enjoy these dance floor ejaculation videos from Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

    

    

    

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 8th, 2009 at 8:00 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.