Hermaphrodite Heaven

Ever since I exposed myself to the fantasy hermaphrodite fetish world of Futanaria and all of the delicious dickgirls therein, I’ve come to realise that it would be a devastating sexual disappointment if I got a new girlfriend and, in due course (as intercourse goes), finally got her naked in bed only to discover to my dismay that she didn’t have a penis! Sure, I like pussy as much as the next guy, but have since become somewhat jaded against female genitalia without a huge cock & balls hanging down to eclipse the clitoris and labia. That said, I like big tits too, so the inconceivable idea of having a boobless girlfriend would be “udderly” unbearable. Likewise, the thought of trying to lead a healthy sex life without vaginas within which to poke my penis causes impenetrable psychosexual peril as well, thus striking busty shemales having both big boobs & big cocks off my list as acceptable “girlfriend material”.

And so, with the formerly gigantic genital gene pool of potential girlfriends to satisfy my strange sexual desires rapidly dwindling down to nearly nought, I can but come to a singular sensible conclusion: Hermaphrodites are the only answer! Indeed, having a sexy hermaphrodite girlfriend would be the best of all possible worlds - tits, cock & pussy in one convenient package…

…however, before I jump to conclusions that having a hermaphrodite dream girl to call my very own would be all of my bizarre sexual fantasies “cum” true in a bucket, I decided it might be sensible to compile a top ten list of pros & cons as to what having a busty girlfriend with a penis would be like:

Having a Hermaphrodite Girlfriend with a Penis and a Pussy - The Pros:

1. She’ll actually appreciate you leaving the toilet seat up after a pee.
2. She won’t mind you jacking off all the time because she does it so much herself.
3. Handjobs are better since she knows how to handle a cock and what feels best.
4. She’ll give you more blowjobs more often since she knows how good it feels.
5. You’ll have a nice, hard handle to hold onto whilst fucking her doggy-style.
6. You need only squeeze her cock to get her in the mood for sex.
7. You’ll know your way around her genitals instinctively rather than being vexed by that perplexing Rubik’s Cunt pussy puzzle most girls have between their legs.
8. You’ll be able to give her a squirting orgasm every time!
9. She’ll just roll over and fall asleep after cumming rather than wanting a cuddle.
10. You can stage a legal cock fight without inciting animal rights activists.

Having a Hermaphrodite Girlfriend with a Penis and a Pussy - The Cons:

1. Your friends will point and laugh at your girlfriend’s big boner bulge whenever she suffers an embarrassing spontaneous erection.
2. Mutual masturbation will result in an even bigger sticky mess than before.
3. When she gives you a blowjob, she’ll expect reciprocal blowjobs in return (and, if your girlfriend is a swallower, you’d best swallow her cum as well if you want to have any chance in hell of getting a cum swallowing blowjob from her ever again).
4. Neither of you will be able to talk during 69-position oral sex.
5. You might well end up accidentally teabagging her testicles during cunnilingus.
6. You’ll have to lift her balls out of the way before fucking her pussy.
7. When she’s spooning you in bed, you’ll know what that “broomstick in the back” complaint is all about.
8. She might get horny at night and fuck you up the ass in your sleep.
9. She’ll just roll over and fall asleep after cumming rather than wanting a cuddle.
10. Does she have a bigger cock than you? Two words: Penis Envy!

Pretty balanced in terms of the benefits and detriments, it seems, so perhaps some erotic visual aids would help in the decision making process. In order to illustrate the broad range of sexual possibilities that having a hermaphrodite for a girlfriend might hold, I’ll call upon darling dickgirls Porsha Peckerhard & Bianca Bonesworth from Futanaria to skillfully demonstrate such succulent hermaphrodite sex fetishes as large penis mutual masturbation with horny handjobs all around, assisted autofellatio with someone to cup your balls and push your head down to help get your cock in your mouth, big dick licking hard sucking monster cock blowjobs both solo and in the 69-position and explosive cumshots wherein one’s wanking buddy kindly holds her hand over your mouth to suppress your orgasmic screams of ecstasy at the enormous ejaculation emanating from your colossal cumming cock and then licking your dickhead clean of cum and leaning in for a deep French kiss that tastes suspiciously of your own semen as expertly exemplified in the explanatory erotica of these two hermaphrodites masturbating each other before busty blonde Bianca shoves her massive penis into little Porsha’s tight pussy and literally commences fucking the cum out of her cock in sexy hermaphrodite photos from their dirty Secret Sex Sleepover series from Futanaria.com:

        

        

        

        

        

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 3rd, 2009 at 11:00 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.